Social Networking Etiquette

If you're like me, you're probably getting overwhelmed with all of the new possibilities that seem to crop up every day in the 'social networking' arena - from list serves to forums to Facebook to LinkedIn to Twitter, Squidoo, and a whole lot more. It's tough to keep it all straight at times.

It's tempting to jump on the bandwagon, particularly when we hear that one of these new outlets might be 'the next Google' or even 'the new email' as I heard someone say while I was at a conference last week. But like anything else that you do these days, you'll need to determine at the outset what your purpose is in joining any of these sites. And remember, too, that your reputation takes a long time to build, but can be destroyed in moments.

Many entrepreneurs, both lawyers and non-lawyers, are eager to jump in to every new outlet, arena or technology that comes along. While there's nothing wrong with that per se, the lawyer and the practical, cautious side of me wants to grab some of these people by the collar and remind them to slow down and think about what they're doing. Electronic messages are easy to send and difficult to take back. They're easy to disseminate quickly, and many people have long memories (and printers). It's easy to hit the send button or to dive in to the newest thing without thinking about it  - but beware your reputation and the impact of your words and actions in the electronic arena.

If you want someone to be your 'friend' or to link to you, it's easy - all you have to do is use the scripted email that is already set up in the system. But think about WHY you want to link to someone and ask yourself:

• Are you trying to establish a new business relationship or strengthen an existing one?
• How well do you know this person?
• Will the recipient automatically know who you are when they get your 'invitiation?'
• How badly do you want to link to them? 
• What is the response you'd like to receive?
• What is the value to the recipient of linking to you or being your 'friend'?
• How would you respond to such an invitation?

If linking to a particular person is important to you in the first place, make it easy for them. If you're not sure they'll know who you are, or that you're a member of the same organization, or that you met them at a networking event, or that you used to work with them, etc. DON'T send out the canned email invitation. Instead, add a line or two that explains who you are and how you know them. Sending the canned invitation is the equivalent of a 'dear occupant' letter - and you're likely to get the same response those letters enjoy.

Don't make your contact work to find out who you are by clicking on your profile, using Google to research you or going to your website - chances are that they won't do it, or they'll be annoyed by having to do it - not exactly the kind of relationship you're trying to establish, is it?

Do you like getting 'spam' emails from those trying to sell you something or offering to help you with your business? We call that junk mail. It's no different when it is the result of being on a list or belonging to a social network. Nobody wants to be 'sold' by someone they don't know. Make yourself known and establish your reputation and connection first. Contribute before you request or pitch. Provide value. Be of service.

Comments

[Allison Shields]

Edward:

I don't think you're missing something at all -- but unfortunately, it seems that for some, the rules of everyday courtesy have gone out the window, which is why I thought a reminder was in order.

[Edward Wiest]

Am I missing something? I thought that rules of everyday courtesy remained in force notwithstanding the creation of Web2.0.

This post from Jeff Pulver's blog explains the value of telling "friends" how you know them from the point of view of a very busy recipient of a lot of invitations:

http://pulverblog.pulver.com/archives/008458.html