Apologies without the “But”

Speaker and writer Robert Ringer wrote an excellent article on effective apologies and the failure of any so-called apology that contains “…but.”

http://robertringer.com/im-sorry-but/#

In it, Ringer says, “

The lesson you should take away from this sad tale is that “I’m sorry, but …” does not work.  I’ve dealt with many “I’m sorry, but …” people over the years, and have always been turned off by their feigned apologies.  In my mind, I translate “but” into “I’m not willing to take ownership of my mistake.”

On the other hand, the words “I’m sorry” are magical — provided you put a period after them.  The same can be said of such statements as “I made a mistake,” “I take full responsibility,” “It’s my fault,” “I apologize,” and “That was inconsiderate of me.”

There’s so much friction in day-to-day life that it pays to use all the tools at your disposal to make things go as smoothly as possible in your interactions with others.  And knowing when to invoke phrases such as those mentioned above are among the most powerful tools you can use toward achieving that end.  Not only are these tools free, you already own them.  All you need to do is put them to good use.”

I’ve written about apologies before, in “Is It Time to Issue an Apology?” http://legalease.blogs.com/legal_ease_blog/2006/05/is_it_time_to_i.html and “More on Aplogies” http://legalease.blogs.com/legal_ease_blog/2006/06/more_on_apologi.html